I hate it!

I just wish i could play CABAL today! I'm really disappointed of the emergency maintenance! it set my mood off! arghhh! The maintenance is scheduled from 12:45 - 1:30... well fyi its almost 2:30! i really hate CABAL! darn!

“eyes of a wanderer”

one dark night, im walking under the vanity of moonlight. i hear the shallow sound of silence & it pierces my heart. i walk further down the road but all i can see is darkness & i stumble along the rocky path. i am lying on stony fields but i dont want to get up. i like the feeling of tiny rocks crushing on my skin. its much better than the pain i feel deep within. i would rather have my body tormented by sharp stones than have my heart being stabbed & cut into thousand pieces.
i can see but im now blind. i can hear but im now deaf. i can speak but im now mute. i can walk but im now lame. i can rise but im now lying. i can live but im now dead. im a living dead, a zombie in the society.
time is changing & we are changing with it. change is the only constant thing in this world. nothing’s permanent but i want something new. it seems everything is so cynical in my life…but i need to rise and start the journey all by myself again. im still a wanderer and travelling is my game. i left my world hoping to find where i could fit in & be with somebody i hope to spend the rest of my life with. i found her but destiny is interfering. maybe its not yet the right time for us. its been too complicated and too hot to handle. it burns my hands but i like the sense of heat plunging on my bear hands and the cold smoke that i breathe in.
my body is now burning in the rain & freezing in the sun. my eyes are now red with tears & i use my eyes to cut what i see. its like a two edged sword but it could not even cut the softest mineral known to man. i tried to sharpened it but it only wilted like an old tree.
and midway in my life’s journey, i went astray from the straight road and found myself alone in the dark woods. i long to be with the one i love yet she left me. i tried to win her back though i know its next to impossible. i walked the narrow, dark path and i stumbled along the way. i shout for her name yet only shallow cries came out from my dry mouth. i fell on my knees and beg the destiny to turn back time yet only silence filled the cold, dark night. i was alone and still longing to be with the one i cherished most. until one day i just woke up with my eyes filled with dried tears. i just thought that it will be over soon. i walked again and along the slippery, narrow, dark path until i saw a beam of light flashing down from the heavens. i saw an angel descending from the heavens. she smiled and held my hands. after sometime, it was the only time i smiled then i remembered my “princess”….she was happy now, im sure. i always pray for her happiness and success..she might have a new knight in a shining armor and i still remain a wanderer, a silent stranger…
im still living in darkness. i dont want to come out to the open and see the light. im afraid that i will be blinded again. im still recovering from my wounds and i enjoying every evaporated stone that the demons are giving me. im already hooked. this is my way of nurturing my tired heart. i may be pathetic and fool but this is how i cure myself. this is the eye of the wanderer..eyes filled with tears…i know it will be over soon…i just need to overcome this and start all over again…..

My fave flower

kalachuchi! new favorite flower ko! i love this as in sobra!

A night to remember...

...the last thing i could ever remember was he singing " .... you're my mona lisa... my rainbow sky... and my only prayer is that you'll realize... you're always be beautiful... in my eyes...." It was friday night... my beau and I decided to have a dinner date in one of the finest resto in town... there's nothing special about that day... in fact we have a fight... instead of making things worst... we settle things, talk about a few misunderstandings.... and amazingly.... everything is right again!

"...When there are lines upon my face from a lifetime of smiles, when the time comes to embrace for one long last while, we can laugh about how time really flies. We won't say goodbye 'cause true love never dies; you'll always be beautiful in my eyes..." it was 25th of July.... the night was cold.. the stars are shining bright.... it may be an ordinary night,,, but definitely... its a night to remember...

BOYGEORGE Birthday is comming up!

My baby BoyGeorge's 1st birthday will be on the 14 of July! Am so excited to celebrate his first birthday this coming Monday. Well, I'm still polishing the details of the event... This would be the best celebration of the season!